Thursday, January 01, 2009

Wish List 2009

Aught-Seven ended "neither with a bang, nor with a whimper, but rather…a bang waiting to happen…Powder’s dry, and it’ll go off soon." Or so I wrote at the time.

If 2007 ended with unresolved tension, 2008 ends…well, like a long exhale. So far, 2009 feels like a day-old balloon: still floating, but slack. No longer strained taut from the pressure.

Powder's spent, and we've drawn some R&R. Now we're just waiting for the Quartermaster's next pass through the line.

Anyway. If nothing else, my Wish List 2008 proved one thing: I should stick to wish lists, not predictions. With a few notable exceptions, I was wrong, wrong, wrong. The sun did shine. Snow did (and continues to) fall. Kids got owies, and I spent more time on my computer than working in my yard. On that much, for the second straight year, I was right.

Other than that? Judge for yourself, if you want. In the grand tradition of punditry, I choose to ignore my past misfires and instead plow forward to 2009!

This is the year Son #1 gets his first deer
. He was so close in 2008. Twice.

I'll do my usual George Thorogood imitation.

Sons #2 and #3 will add several Cub Scout awards to their shirts. Son #2, in particular, will place in a Lego-building contest. The Daughter will get her driver's license and will be a far more responsible driver than her father was at her age.

Yes, I'm that old.

The Wife and I will go dancing exactly once. She'll forgive me for not making it twice.

Brett Favre hangs up the cleats, this time for good. The all-time NFL fumbles record will stay with Warren Moon.

Elsewhere in sports, Baltimore Ravens safety Jim Leonhard makes an interception in the Superbowl; Bret Bielema spends the year feeling the heat; the Bucks and the Brewers play a bunch of games in unmemorable seasons; and Bo Ryan takes the Badgers to the Elite Eight, helping him land a recruit who almost guarantees a return trip and more.

The Packers will make the playoffs after adding one big-time free agent and one touted rookie to the defensive line. Donald Driver will remember how to make one cut after catching the ball, and his numbers will improve accordingly.

In state politics, all-powerful Democrats will be unable to restrain the liberal impulse, and will put forward every bigger-government, higher-taxes, business-is-evil and nanny-government proposal they've ever thought of in the past, plus a few more. Most will go nowhere, as Democratic leaders realize the voters will freak out, but some – the hospital tax, cigarette tax, gas tax, smoking ban, etc. – will become law.

The budget will be "balanced." Governor Doyle's staff will begin floating predictions of a $6.8 billion deficit two years from now.

The so-called Healthy Wisconsin will be the big hole in their liberal cornucopia, because President Obama will socialize health care at the federal level.

In federal politics, all-powerful Democrats will restrain the liberal impulse to retreat from Iraq and Afghanistan – President Obama will prove to be far more hawkish than his most ardent supporters expected. Otherwise, government spending and socialization are in.

Democrats and liberals will spend a lot of time vilifying President Bush, who will be nothing but classy and supportive of the Obama administration.

Republicans will learn just how much fun it is to be surrounded and outnumbered. They can't get away from us now!

The economy will improve in 2009, but not by much. What improvement does occur will be thanks to consumer confidence brought about by the mainstream media's positive economic coverage.

Entitlement reform and, closest and dearest to me, Social Security Reform, are over. By the time enough conservatives get enough political power to do anything about them, it'll be too late.

Yes, that's really pessimistic of me. One more bit of pessimism: I will again fail to land a dead-tree byline this year.

Wait…was that pessimism? Or reverse psychology?

Now for a few blasts from the past:

I get better at everything. Better at writing, better at working, better at Dad-ing and better at husband-ing. It's no secret how. It’s just a matter of doing it.

Politics doesn’t get any nicer, bipartisan, cooperative, or any less nasty, but we’ll all be a little less uptight about that.

Duh. There's a Democrat in the White House.

George Lucas finally admits that there’s way too much money in the franchise not to make the final three Star Wars movies, not to mention the inevitable re-make. Josh Whedon will agree to write and direct.

And, the Oldie-but-Goodie you've all been waiting for:

The kids learn to pick up after themselves without being nagged
.

I crack myself up.

Happy New Year!

1 Comment:

Steve Burri said...

Hint: Just tell your kids that if they don't pick up after themselves without being nagged, they will end up like their GREAT Uncle Steve. That'll learn 'em.

 

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